Category Archives: essay

Passer By

passer by

Yes, you were right. To you, I was just a passerby encountered in a public place and nothing more! We were on the brink of moving on two divergent ways and directions. The time was drastically limited. Actually, it had begun with a greeting shown from my side. Only God knows how much effort I made to find a pretext to create such a relatively conducive condition to talk to you and make the eye contact with your stunning eyes for a few seconds. However, then all my endeavors to prolong this conversation proved futile when I saw you first body’s movement to pass me even though our brief talks hadn’t been finished yet. No sooner had the happiness and hope, formed by your fleeting smile, surfaced in me than the sweetness of the joy gave its place to the bitterness of leaving. You were right! There was no reason to let the talks go any longer, “I was a passerby only”.

However, the reality was that we were from two different worlds, dear. Your world is one in which its habitants try to make any decisions based on the so-called logical reasons and publically accepted rules only. The personal benefit is overriding factor, prior to any steps to be taken. They preferably want everything to be guaranteed before making any choices. Making friendship with someone of course is not an exceptional issue in your world. There should be adequately convincing causes to make such a relationship, mainly based on conventional rules. Many questions need to be perfectly answered before even thinking about someone as a partner. Logical reasons, compulsory qualifications, conventional rules… and again convincing causes, logical reasons… oh…, oh…when all these ridiculous words and phrases come to an end to let us hold our hands without saying even any word!?…

For this reason I have chosen to live in another world; “world of fantasy”,the world in which you don’t have to meet these meaningless criteria to make friendship or fall in love with somebody. You can’t benefit from your especial and suddenly shaped social position in every field of life, nor can you suffer from not having those so-called reasonable qualifications to do a thing you want to. Having unfettered life far away from all those irritating rules can only be an advantage. The different atmosphere in which human’s ear is capable of hearing the heart’s words and voice and there can be found a room for sentiment, affection, truthfulness or even love at first sight.

However, it is regrettable that I have to say there is an endless distance between your world and mine, dear. Even a flicker of hope of joining them is nowhere in sight. What is the main culprit? I might have been mistaken, yes! You were right, “I was a passerby only”


Long Distance Relationship


I know its most cliched question but i dare to ask again , ” What is love”?  Dictionary says its variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes that ranges from interpersonal affection to pleasure. But can these simple words describe this vague feeling? I doubt so. 

If we search intenet , we can find billions of love posts, we can read thousands of love stories and there is a separate universe of romantic flims. Still question arises, can someone fully describe whats love. Does someone have to be together for love to grow or 2 person thousands of miles away can also share this feeling? The debate between these two questions  continues and  the views on ” Long Distance relationship” varies person to person.

Either you say love is just “hormones ” screwing your brain  or love is a devine feeling ; there is no  distance factor in love . Love grows on the foundation of trust, mutual understanding and selflessness. When these foundations are strong and love is pure, distance doesnt matter. 

The biggest example i can give is myself. My girlfriend lives  6000 km  away from me , skype is the venue for dates, lunches happen on viber and late night dinner on phone. Geographically, the distance seems huge but when i close my eyes , i feel her right next to me. The foundation of love is strong thus no matter what our relation is no different from any other relations. I believe , long distance relation is the biggest test of love. If you have understanding, trust and patience  endure the test, then you can feel that h/she is the special one.

Some may mock, long distance relation is just “digital love”; It cant be practical; it wont work.  If simple thing as distance comes between  the relation then my friend, the relation itself didnt work from the beginning.If love only worked when two persons are physically together, then breakups would be a rare word. Distance doesnt make love impratical or it cant be blamed that  it wont work; main thing is how you cope up the situation and move on.   I know being together, being able to held hands together, hugging each other and being together is a nice feeling  but waiting for someone and being finally able to run towards  each other, that tight hug and  that first kiss after so long is surreal. As Hellen Keller said, “The best and most  beautiful  thing in world  cannot be seen or touched. They must be felt with heart.  Distance means so little when someone means so much.”

The “smart” phone Dictatorship

Last Monday afternoon, my belly was rumbling because  of hunger so  i called my friend so we could go to some place and have  some lunch.  After 10 minutes which felt like ages , the food finally came and  I thought finally I could stuff my belly up . As i was going for my food, my friend stuck a huge phone between me and the food and  started ” photo session” with it.  After few clicks and types  in awkward angle, the humble food was celebrity in his Facebook desperate for likes and comments.

As technology is getting better and stronger like some big  fat buff with cocktail of steroids, a mystical thing called  over “smart” phones have popped out and fallen into the hands of every next person. The “smart” phones have clutched us  like the vicious. tentacles of giant octopus and we also have welcomed it with both arms wide open.  The  phones  which was meant to be a means of communication has turned into  a  invincible device which has engulfed poor alarm clock, gaming consoles, television, radio, mp3 players and what not. Slowly, the invincible powerful plastic and chip gaint is also engulfing, dictating our life.

People ask  ” whats wifi password” before ” how are you”,   one cannot engulf a morsel without  taking the pictures of  their meal, toilets has turned into photo studio, “duck face” has taken place of ” smile” while capturing images, ” miscalls” has taken place of ” hi”. One has been so much addicted to their phones, that it has become another ” basic need”.  Technology has  made  world a global villages, communicating is cheap; the distance between you and next person 1000 miles far seems near but  they dont realize  distance between their family  and friends has turned so far.  People have been dictated by the “communication device” so much that they have forgotten solid one to one communication. Socializing  has turned into chatting and calling “electronically”

Children of 90s and before that loved playing outdoors. Now the device has engulfed “outdoor ” playing with the whole wide world of ” electronic play”  . Now days children can dribble, shoot, and run with their  fingertips. Children love the simulation so much that they have turned their face away from reality.One seems to forget the thin line between the reality and the simulation. Its sad to say this but, phones are getting smarter and turning people dumb. Technology has great use and so does the phone, but one should realize and wake up from their digital dream ” you control the “smart” phone, “smart phone” doesnt control you.”  The world is bigger than screen of your “smart” phone.

Epic Fail: One sided lop story

Sitting  beside “raju paanwala’s ssop” , Ram Bilas says to Gajothar “ see there goej  your bhabhi”. “ Gibhen the phact that Ram Bilas is a “gymwala” , no one ssud look at the girl becauz he will be beaten to pulp.

The poor girl doej not ebhen know tyat there ij a boy named Ram Bilas.

This story goej phaar beyond  that in the topic. I am sure you must habe experienced it sometime or other.

Returning to write this story in normal form,< above lines inspired from cheesy Tamil dubbed movies > , people from everywhere are witness to this happening. The case with girls is not  like the above mentioned story.  If there is a guy in her class, she looks across to him with puppy eyes , may be once or twice  and the boy  is on that vicious circle of so called love.  This may be result of 2 factors. Either the boy is one of the ahem “ He goat  type”  or the boy really  falls for those puppy eyes(rare syndrome but possible)

But the case with ‘ lop at first sight’ and no sight after that has  highest probability, I would like to say 99/100 times.   The famous (birdwatching or hunting) is a  national  time pass for the  chiya pasal  boys  who look at the girls passing  by and label them with two names : Tero bhauju ki mero bhauju. Its easy to say but its real challenge for him to  find out details about her.(if he dares  and she cares) .Once in blue moon he might even find that, but he multiplies the fact  and says “ she talked to me yar” ,” aja date ma gayera ako ma”, “

But  as  I said, most of other times, I would like to say a Chinese alu ghadi  will be more durable than that so called love. Do that in Bollywood or our own Nepali movie and you are screwed. Generally hero and heroin strike at college, heroin’s book  falls down and eyes of both meet when both try to get that book.  After 15 minutes and a  song , heroin and heros are (janam janam ko sathi) and  a maran-chyase hero is able to fight 10 mustandas alone for her .  But one must keep in mind a serious statement
(yesh katha ka sapai patra kalpanik hun ra bastavik jiwan sanga mel khaye ma samyog matra hunecha).

One sided love stories are  more fun to friends than you.  The wicked smile whenever she passes by, the continous hit of dialog” uuh tero budi” when she is near  .!, , also We all have that  one single friend who gives lectures about relations to you and you listen to that poor fellow .  you might even scribble her name  on class benches , public toilets or back side of mandirs ; something like “ Bittu loves Munni “.  

The best part of one sided love story is  its FLEXIBILITY. There is no complications what so ever. If one story is failed then , shed a tear, share a beer, “ oh ! dear”  and move on to your next target. One sided love stories , add spice to our lives. Whether it be girls  swooning over the morbid, dull and lifeless(literally) , Edward Sullen, Cullen or other vampire /wolves  or the guys drooling over the lively ,cute and oomphy Megan FOX. Come to think of it , they will never have a eye contact!

AND, they give us a topic that can last for at least 3 days which starts with “ Dude, I saw an awesuummm girl today”…. And ends with  friend saying” leave it yar, she wasn’t meant for you…………… OAAAIII KTA HOO!!!! uhh tya herta  “


There has been 2 things viral lately, one  being dreadful Ebola virus ; culprit of numerous death tolls and second ice bucket challenge.  The  virus itself is a very unfortunate tragedy of human kind and i pray god that victims get the cure ASAP and the virus gets eradicated from earth while i have mixed feeilngs about the latter “ICE BUCKET thing”.

Being marketing student myself,at first i loved the marketing concept to run a donation campaign. Millions of dollars has been raised while also generating awareness about disease called Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS) .”FACEBOOKIFICATION” factor  has exponentially increased the exposure   of the campaign but lately i feel it also has been  degrading it.  The beautiful campaign has turned  into  ugly wet T-shirt Facebook contest.

Keeping the marketing tactic one side, donation is the offering from “halves ” part of society to ” halves not” part of the society. The main message of the campaign is being pushed into the back and, the “fun” of tagging friends and wetting yourself is being the highlight. As flock of sheep, everyone is following the Facebook fad and forgetting the  very own concept of  alien word called “DONATION”.

People in Africa are dying because of dehydration ;They wait hours in scorching sunlight to get a liter of water; even i dont have to go far, people in my country walk hours to get a bucket of water. But in the name of  “beautiful cause” people are wasting water In any book , i haven’t found donation being associated with “wasting ” anything. Irony is , we are wasting precious thing like water for concept like  donation.

If you want to donate, donate that bucket of water to the needy ones, if you want to donate, donate a bucket full of food to needy ones, if you want to donate, donate your one day pocket money to  needy ones.  No matter how small your contribution is, it still is million times better than wasting anything. As mother Teresa said, “It’s not how much we give but how much love we put into giving.”

Hazy Dreams

Hazy Dreams


The typical hariyo ,unique character  of most of the typical Bhattis  in town, where few of us dared to enter and the authentic taste  hugged the soul so badly that we keep going there. Sekuwa, Bhutan, Bara with big gulp of sweet chyang shared with friends.. Nothing can beat that feeling.

This is a story of  one of the typical Hariyo Parda  Bhatti run by   Motti didi, a mid aged women with huge body, warm smile and typical Newari tone. Her piro alu, spicy momo and sweet chyang were famous over her regulars. Business was doing well.  Motti didi had son whom everyone called Ramey but  due to  influence with Sylvester Stallone , he liked  himself to be called Rambo. The young chap  never wanted to be in that Bhatti. He felt like dirty walls of those Bhatti  were  a cage which would engulf him  and he just wanted to  get far far from that. The advertisements of  employment opportunities in middle was perfect gate away for him. He had heard dreadful stories of the desert but  the big bold letters written in Salary column always lured him towards those posts.  To fuel his fire for middle east was one of the regulars of Bhatti, Tikaram Bajey. He claimed himself to be a agent of a big recruiting company  of middle east. Though he was Bhramin, he never hesitated to gulp down the delicacies of Bhatti ;that  other Bhramin race would claim “impure”.  Bajey implanted seed of middle east so strategically inside Rambos head that he was ready to pay Bajey huge sum for the necessary documents and visa. And  icing on the cake was Bajey never had to pay in Bhatti. It was his “consulting fee”. May be that’s why he grinned so much, showing his disgusting teeth rotted by regular use of khaini.

Opposite of the Bhatti, there was a finance company where Vishal; same age group of Rambo is working as   finance executive.  The 24 year old chap didn’t get the post due to his extra ordinary CV or experience but through ‘gift” by his father who also happened to own that place. After working few months,  same “ gift” seems “torture “ to him. He never wanted to work at first place. He misses his bike rides, dates with young women and late night parties. The rich spoilt brat was brought from lavish life to the tie suit; 9-5  environment and as Rambo, the neat and well architecture walls of the office was engulfing his ambitions and youth.

The discrepancy between these kids and parents ambition would result in often quarrel and unrest; Moti didi’s threshold limit crossed and she handed over her lifelong savings to the Tikaram Baje. “Tero life set vo mora” Bajey grinned and promised to be back in 15 days.  Vishal case was different. His thick skinned dad had little effect no matter how much he protested.  As result Vishal snuck in his dads room, stole a bundle of cash and ran way.

On that 15th day, Rambo wore his best cloth, packed a bag while whistling his best song  “Don’t wory maa” he said “ You don’t have to work any more. I will earn double what you earn a month”. Motti didi was listening to her son while trying to control her tears. Rambo wore his new boot  and said  he would call her mom when he landed Qatar. Tika Ram Bajey had promised to pick Rambo at  5pm.

Vishal  had flown away from the cage. He  had pocket full of money and  heart full of ambition when he left his home. Few days went smoothly with this regular party, booze and girls.The thick bundle in his pocket got slimmer every day . Everything started to haunt him. His ambition went haywire, dream jumped off the roof and he was left alone with 100 rupees note in his pocket. He had no other option, no other way out. He was strolling with heavy heart and empty pocket when he reached in front of his office. He stared at his office with eyes full of tears, called his dad and said , “ I am sorry, I am coming back dad” in a muffled voice. He couldn’t talk more. His morality was killing his soul .

As he turned back  , suddenly his eyes were on that hariyo parda which he had seen  million of time but never it looked so inviting. His foot started to walk itself and  led him inside. Before the bold act of redemption , he wanted to get drunk .“ Sauni” he said  ,” 1 glass chang”.   Moti didi served him with her signature smile. As Vishal was gulping sweet chyang, his eyes stopped at a young chap cleaning dirty dishes . He tried to figure out who it was but the cigarette smoke filled room was too hazy.

Seeing this moti didi  smiled said” Tyo mero choro, Ramey

Tikaram  Bajey never came.

Hyaa!! Lecture Sidena vanya


Among the crazy game requests, “like for good or bad luck” posts and crazy status i stumbled upon the quote of Mr. Abdul Kalam  that said “The best brains of the nation will be found in the last bench of a classroom”  Being a back bencher myself i was proud for a moment then i started to scratch my head thinking ” have i got a BEST brain!!!” I dont know if i have or not but i wanted to share my experience of being a back bencher.

I bet everyone in their life has been a back bencher except a rarity case that you  belong to the  “nerd” race  :P.  Ever had a view from last bench??? It’s awesome . You can have all those pleasures you get watching a natural scenery. Unlike bikes where “ objects in mirror are closer than they appear” which sounds freakish , but from the last bench everything is far and harmless. You can see everybody in the class. “Last benchers never look back” 😀 This is one of the most prestigious thing about them which they take pride in. But the phrase remains valid only during normal classes. During exams circumstances compel us to seek help from all directions. We have strong CV. I mean Ctrl+ c and ctrl + v. hehe. We guys are very innocent. Innocent in the sense 0% technical knowledge . In my case ,well it can be -2% 😛

Speed of sound is 330 m/sec approx. Theoretically, a distance of 5* 102 cm from first to the last bench won’t make much difference, but practically it does. By the time the priceless signals from your lectures transmitter reaches your ear, the signal get weak and degraded in quality and pitch like our own NTC , so you turn off your receiver . That’s why there is so much peace and harmony in back.  The “angry birds” ,”Temple run” or any other games will give you a wonderful company and 1.25 hour class goes like that. But rest 5 min, you get very active; for your roll calls.  It’s like treasure moment for them. They feel like national anthem is being played in background. As soon as teacher calls names loud, they raise their hands high enough; as if they are to receive Olympic medal. At the end of semester, if one fails to collect more than 70% of the total such hypothetical Olympic medals , mark my words that s/he won’t be able to enjoy their vacations.

Just imagine if such backbencher society are ever transferred to alien world of front bench to attend a lecture. They will feel as if  they are the only ones in class. Everything is so zoomed in and in focus that  your head stars spinning. The teacher who looked like “ Bam” from the last bench now looks like a giant. The board which appeared to be crystal clear  from the last bench , now seems to have the entire Ramayana inscribed in it. The teacher constantly looks into your eyes and you get  hypnotized. You also look deep into his eyes to create a good impression. You try to prove that you are from among the brightest students of the class which, in fact is total fallacy. You are like the second hand fluorescent lamp powered by those duplicate “made in china” batteries which can go off any moment. But you don’t care about that. You nod with every word he says with utmost concentration,” yes sir…. Yes sir, ya, ya,ya exactly…….”

Sometimes if you are scared enough to sit on the first bench, you may get a strong urge to answer Nature’s call, like I generally do when I am tensed. But you’re in college now. Unlike school students ,its weird  to  go and ask  “ excuse me sir, may I go to toilet?” if you learn to study under extreme pressure and traumatic environment . In case the pressure  reaches a certain value called CRTITCAL PRESSURE  and things go  beyond the limit of tolerance , you get the creepy feeling that your pants can get wet any moment;  you finally  venture  to ask teacher the above luxury.

Some teachers are intolerant about last benchers . I think they see us as villains  like “ Mogambo” , “ gabbar “ or “ Dr. Evil” . They consider themselves as  the “RAMBO” or” Dhai kilo wala  Veeru” and try to  terminate the EVIL. Thus , there’s every possibility that he or she might  ask you some alien questions that you have never heard of. Last sem I fell prey to our of our beloved sir . I was sleeping quietly  in last bench when he caught me  red handed and empty headed :P. So last benchers  have a risky business. BUT like a hero we say proudly “ Jaani, ham bhi khatro ke khiladi hein” 😉