Tag Archives: HUMour

Epic Fail: One sided lop story

Sitting  beside “raju paanwala’s ssop” , Ram Bilas says to Gajothar “ see there goej  your bhabhi”. “ Gibhen the phact that Ram Bilas is a “gymwala” , no one ssud look at the girl becauz he will be beaten to pulp.

The poor girl doej not ebhen know tyat there ij a boy named Ram Bilas.

This story goej phaar beyond  that in the topic. I am sure you must habe experienced it sometime or other.

Returning to write this story in normal form,< above lines inspired from cheesy Tamil dubbed movies > , people from everywhere are witness to this happening. The case with girls is not  like the above mentioned story.  If there is a guy in her class, she looks across to him with puppy eyes , may be once or twice  and the boy  is on that vicious circle of so called love.  This may be result of 2 factors. Either the boy is one of the ahem “ He goat  type”  or the boy really  falls for those puppy eyes(rare syndrome but possible)

But the case with ‘ lop at first sight’ and no sight after that has  highest probability, I would like to say 99/100 times.   The famous (birdwatching or hunting) is a  national  time pass for the  chiya pasal  boys  who look at the girls passing  by and label them with two names : Tero bhauju ki mero bhauju. Its easy to say but its real challenge for him to  find out details about her.(if he dares  and she cares) .Once in blue moon he might even find that, but he multiplies the fact  and says “ she talked to me yar” ,” aja date ma gayera ako ma”, “

But  as  I said, most of other times, I would like to say a Chinese alu ghadi  will be more durable than that so called love. Do that in Bollywood or our own Nepali movie and you are screwed. Generally hero and heroin strike at college, heroin’s book  falls down and eyes of both meet when both try to get that book.  After 15 minutes and a  song , heroin and heros are (janam janam ko sathi) and  a maran-chyase hero is able to fight 10 mustandas alone for her .  But one must keep in mind a serious statement
(yesh katha ka sapai patra kalpanik hun ra bastavik jiwan sanga mel khaye ma samyog matra hunecha).

One sided love stories are  more fun to friends than you.  The wicked smile whenever she passes by, the continous hit of dialog” uuh tero budi” when she is near  .!, , also We all have that  one single friend who gives lectures about relations to you and you listen to that poor fellow .  you might even scribble her name  on class benches , public toilets or back side of mandirs ; something like “ Bittu loves Munni “.  

The best part of one sided love story is  its FLEXIBILITY. There is no complications what so ever. If one story is failed then , shed a tear, share a beer, “ oh ! dear”  and move on to your next target. One sided love stories , add spice to our lives. Whether it be girls  swooning over the morbid, dull and lifeless(literally) , Edward Sullen, Cullen or other vampire /wolves  or the guys drooling over the lively ,cute and oomphy Megan FOX. Come to think of it , they will never have a eye contact!

AND, they give us a topic that can last for at least 3 days which starts with “ Dude, I saw an awesuummm girl today”…. And ends with  friend saying” leave it yar, she wasn’t meant for you…………… OAAAIII KTA HOO!!!! uhh tya herta  “

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Hyaa!! Lecture Sidena vanya

last_bancher

Among the crazy game requests, “like for good or bad luck” posts and crazy status i stumbled upon the quote of Mr. Abdul Kalam  that said “The best brains of the nation will be found in the last bench of a classroom”  Being a back bencher myself i was proud for a moment then i started to scratch my head thinking ” have i got a BEST brain!!!” I dont know if i have or not but i wanted to share my experience of being a back bencher.

I bet everyone in their life has been a back bencher except a rarity case that you  belong to the  “nerd” race  :P.  Ever had a view from last bench??? It’s awesome . You can have all those pleasures you get watching a natural scenery. Unlike bikes where “ objects in mirror are closer than they appear” which sounds freakish , but from the last bench everything is far and harmless. You can see everybody in the class. “Last benchers never look back” 😀 This is one of the most prestigious thing about them which they take pride in. But the phrase remains valid only during normal classes. During exams circumstances compel us to seek help from all directions. We have strong CV. I mean Ctrl+ c and ctrl + v. hehe. We guys are very innocent. Innocent in the sense 0% technical knowledge . In my case ,well it can be -2% 😛

Speed of sound is 330 m/sec approx. Theoretically, a distance of 5* 102 cm from first to the last bench won’t make much difference, but practically it does. By the time the priceless signals from your lectures transmitter reaches your ear, the signal get weak and degraded in quality and pitch like our own NTC , so you turn off your receiver . That’s why there is so much peace and harmony in back.  The “angry birds” ,”Temple run” or any other games will give you a wonderful company and 1.25 hour class goes like that. But rest 5 min, you get very active; for your roll calls.  It’s like treasure moment for them. They feel like national anthem is being played in background. As soon as teacher calls names loud, they raise their hands high enough; as if they are to receive Olympic medal. At the end of semester, if one fails to collect more than 70% of the total such hypothetical Olympic medals , mark my words that s/he won’t be able to enjoy their vacations.

Just imagine if such backbencher society are ever transferred to alien world of front bench to attend a lecture. They will feel as if  they are the only ones in class. Everything is so zoomed in and in focus that  your head stars spinning. The teacher who looked like “ Bam” from the last bench now looks like a giant. The board which appeared to be crystal clear  from the last bench , now seems to have the entire Ramayana inscribed in it. The teacher constantly looks into your eyes and you get  hypnotized. You also look deep into his eyes to create a good impression. You try to prove that you are from among the brightest students of the class which, in fact is total fallacy. You are like the second hand fluorescent lamp powered by those duplicate “made in china” batteries which can go off any moment. But you don’t care about that. You nod with every word he says with utmost concentration,” yes sir…. Yes sir, ya, ya,ya exactly…….”

Sometimes if you are scared enough to sit on the first bench, you may get a strong urge to answer Nature’s call, like I generally do when I am tensed. But you’re in college now. Unlike school students ,its weird  to  go and ask  “ excuse me sir, may I go to toilet?” if you learn to study under extreme pressure and traumatic environment . In case the pressure  reaches a certain value called CRTITCAL PRESSURE  and things go  beyond the limit of tolerance , you get the creepy feeling that your pants can get wet any moment;  you finally  venture  to ask teacher the above luxury.

Some teachers are intolerant about last benchers . I think they see us as villains  like “ Mogambo” , “ gabbar “ or “ Dr. Evil” . They consider themselves as  the “RAMBO” or” Dhai kilo wala  Veeru” and try to  terminate the EVIL. Thus , there’s every possibility that he or she might  ask you some alien questions that you have never heard of. Last sem I fell prey to our of our beloved sir . I was sleeping quietly  in last bench when he caught me  red handed and empty headed :P. So last benchers  have a risky business. BUT like a hero we say proudly “ Jaani, ham bhi khatro ke khiladi hein” 😉